Happiness

We begin with happiness . . .

You were made for happiness.

– Dalai Lama

 He made you that he might shower his gifts upon you.

– Sri Dada

I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

—John 10:10

Happiness, gift-receiving, abundant life, we are told (on good authority!), are our inheritance, our legacy, our very purpose. Thus it was in the beginning. Thus it is today. Thus it was, too, at the time of the founding of our nation.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is the highest American ideal. It was so important to our founding fathers that they boldly proclaimed it in our Declaration of Independence. When Thomas Jefferson came up with this thought, it was considered a radical idea. Life expectancy at that time was about thirty years. So to even have the time to consider such a possibility was a blessing.

In America today, we seem to see the supreme ideal more as “life, liberty, and the purchase of happiness.” We live in a culture that celebrates affluence. Many Americans really think that a bigger car or a more elaborate house will provide the fulfillment they seek.

Most people in Third World countries don’t really contemplate or ponder the concept of happiness. But Americans even test themselves on the subject. According to one poll, average Americans rate themselves as seven on a happiness scale from one to ten, one being the least happy and ten being the most happy.

 Only one thing will attract love, and that is love.

—Napoleon Hill

 Loving yourself

First, to be happy it is important to love yourself. Love is a verb, so just like loving someone else has to be full of action so does loving yourself. The art of appreciating yourself involves action. Action includes participating in your own well-being, your own beauty, and your own health—doing what you know is good for you. For instance, fueling yourself with the best foods, taking the needed time to get sunshine and exercise, telling yourself good things, knowing you are worth the struggle to keep a positive attitude no matter how dark things can look. We must develop the art of accepting ourselves. Doing things we know are good for ourselves. Physically applying beneficial ointments, creams, and lotions. Exercising. Taking long, warm, soothing baths. Going to hot springs. Putting a hot oil treatment in our hair. Brushing our hair. Walking around the block or the lake. Meditating. Doing yoga. Going to a steam room. Working out at a recreation center.

True self-love

The art of appreciating yourself should not lead to arrogance. Here’s the best way I have heard it expressed. Nelson Mandela said this in his 1994 inaugural speech when he became president of South Africa:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us: It is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

A good practice might be to read this quote each day as a constant reminder of who we really are, what we are really like, and what our basic calling in life is.

Affirmations versus negative self-talk

Most people, if not all of us to some degree, are caught in a web of negative self-talk. There is a way to combat this: affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements we can repeat to ourselves as many times as we find helpful. Initially, we need to listen to our self-talk to be aware of the negative mental conversation we are involved in. Affirmations give us the power to replace this negative self-talk with positive self-talk, resulting in greater happiness. You can make up your own positive affirmations, or take quotes, for example, from Nelson Mandela’s speech.

Consider, discern, prioritize, choose

An effective method of figuring out what is important to us is prioritization. Stop and ask yourself what is important to me, my life; what do I want to accomplish before I die? A good way to find out what is working and what is not working in your life is journal writing. Every day, write down what is on your mind. A great book to help you with journaling is called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

We need to take the time to ponder, to discern, to prioritize, and to choose. I know what you’re thinking. That’s easy for her to say, but I have a husband, three kids, and a full-time job. I understand. My advice? Choose your priorities. Are you working so you can afford a more expensive car and a larger house than you need? How much do you spend on clothes and furniture that don’t bring you lasting joy? How much do you spend on fast foods that may not be healthful? What is really important to you? Take time to consider these questions, then align your life with your priorities and be happy with them.

Remember, you aren’t locked in for life with these new decisions. You can change your priorities and actions if, after due consideration, other ideas work better for you.

Working as an essential of happiness

My own personal, nonscientific research among my eclectic collection of friends, which includes vegans, Buddhists, trendsetters, bikers, homemakers, college professors, incarcerated inmates, factory workers, and lawyers, has led me to conclude that happiness comes from the act of working toward whatever you decide is important in life. For example, herbalists working with herbs, farmers farming, healers healing, lawyers winning difficult but important cases. You determine for you what pursuit will bring you happiness. To be happy, work on that pursuit with all your energy, creativity, and insight.

In my opinion, work, your effort at accomplishing your goals, is a major foundation for happiness. Other aspects of life play a part, too. Take time to be playful! Try to learn something from every negative situation. Learn to take responsibility.

The hidden gift in responsibility: empowerment

Many people think responsibility is a burden and therefore to be avoided. Not so! Taking responsibility is taking control. If you blame others for your problems, then you are handing them your power. Furthermore, claiming responsibility means you have the power to make changes. Taking responsibility for yourself is empowering.

You could avoid the thinking, the discernment, and the choosing what is important in your life. Perhaps you’re afraid of criticism. Napoleon states: “One way to avoid criticism is to do nothing and be a nobody. The world will then not bother you.” True, but my bet is you won’t find happiness that way.